Showing posts with label nothing really new. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nothing really new. Show all posts

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Been Tumblring...Until Now (A Few Years Ago...)

    "It's been a long time since I've posted anything online (here, Tumblr, Twitter). I've lost interest in so many things, (of course) one of them being writing. Passion is no longer in anything I do because everything has become more of a chore than a hobby/past-time activity. But, I choose from now on to push myself to do things that made me happy once upon a time. To try and rekindle the flame. These posts may be boring and somewhat depressing, but they are my life and thoughts (and I will say that my passion is deteriorating faster than it is recuperating). However, those things may change, sooner or later. It's worth a try, yes?

    Life has been better or worse. I can't really say that everything is the way I would like it to be, but I think that things are the way they are should be. I dream of having a real relationship, a few new friendships, and the renewing of a few old bonds. I often think of what it would be like to be independent, to have my own place, to live where there is always something to do. Those are all I think about. I see the blessings in everyone else's life, and I get a bit jealous. I question myself, my morals, my attitude. Why haven't I seen any progress? What am I doing (or not doing)? It's not that I am not happy for those who have what they want. I just want to know where is mine? I've waited. I don't see myself as undeserving. I'm different from the norm, I'll admit, but that's not bad, is it?" 

    
 This is me years ago, and honestly, while I have grown, little has changed. I have graduated from college (finally), and gotten promoted to full time Visual Merchandiser at my job. As exciting as it seems, it can stand some improvement, being that it is a job with a fancier title. However, I have been able to afford my own place to live and get out a little more. I have realized that I am more of a homebody, still. Now, I am hoping I don't get so stuck in one place like most people do. I still dream, just not as often, because I don't have as much time. It is just not how I hoped it would be, but nothing ever is. Surprising? No. It's okay, though.